This week and the past few weeks I've spent a lot of
time thinking about teaching before NCLB and RTTT.
My students opened a restaurant once. We had to do
all the math to determine the supplies needed for the pasta, bread, etc. Each
of the children applied for jobs at the restaurant. They filled out job
applications and we had job interviews. We got creative with marketing our
restaurant, creating our menu, and more. We went to the grocery store and we
shopped for the supplies for our restaurant and interacted with our community. We
had to determine how to use the restaurant space and organize creatively. We
cooked and had to make our own pasta noodles from scratch. We worked with the
cooks in our school to time everything according to the restaurant schedule the
students created, in order to open the restaurant to all of the parents and
family who wanted to attend. I am sure the teachers reading this right now are
beginning to create a list of the many many skills embedded into such a project.
But really what I want to talk about is how confident my students were - how
articulate - how creative - and how engaged they were in making sure that every
last detail of our restaurant and our work was ready for the authentic experience
(audience) of opening day - how they had to problem solve together - on-the-go
- to solve problems because our restaurant was OPEN and we had to be
professional and be ready for business.
I also recall getting a grant to allow my sixth
grade students to work at a nursing home for a semester. We wrote about our
experiences with the residents of the home. We became friends with them. We
planted flowers in their flower boxes as we worked alongside them. We created a
performance for them with songs, a play and more. We built relationships. My
students had compassion and empathy. We loved the men and women who looked
forward to our visits every week.
I recall having an entire day of learning outside -
just because. We decided to make it a creative "outside" day. We
would write sitting under the trees. We would play games, read, and just enjoy
the feeling of learning outside.
I remember working with a class to create multiple service
learning projects. We planned and implemented a neighborhood food drive. We
served food at the soup kitchen on the weekends. We interacted with activists
across the country to find ways to best help our community. We looked across
our community and asked the question "What do we need and how can we
help?"
When I taught kindergarten we cooked every week. At
the end of the year each child went home with a full-on recipe box of recipes
they could cook. They learned about math, reading and science....they learned
to work together at their tables where they each had their own mixing bowl,
measuring spoons and cups. We wrote about what went well, what didn't. We loved
cooking day.
I now find my work with children to be every bit as
wonderful as before. The children are amazing - that never changes. The
mandates are absurd and abusive. I am involved in testing more than I would
like to be. I am a coach so I am not required to do as much testing as a
teacher, but even so, it is too much. I refuse what I can, but the mandates and
the pushback increases daily. I find that this testing regime has become so
"normal" that it is rarely questioned. Testing young first graders
using bubble sheets is the norm - how did we get here? And why aren't more
screaming in protest - parents and teachers?
And now to the present...if you close your
eyes......
This past Tuesday
and Thursday night I attended events involving orchestras, bands, choirs - all
exceptional and beautiful at my son's high school. I would like to just close
my eyes and enjoy it and believe that these experiences I am having exist
everywhere in our country. I am lucky. These experiences are growing more rare
by the day. And then, as a teacher, I no
longer can attend an event or even enter a school without looking around and
surveying the doors, the windows, the hallways to determine how someone might
get in. I think things that I try to shift to the back of my brain and pretend
I didn't think them. I can't close my eyes anymore. I can't close my eyes to
the fear of death, the fear of the mandates, the fear of the complete
destruction of public education. There is fear everywhere. The fear of my own
ability to handle what I see other educators handle - as they find themselves
and their students in harm's way. There
are fears I cannot speak for fear that what I speak will come true. The
unspoken is so well known in our public schools today. It is everywhere even though the words do not
leave our lips.
Then this Friday my school is placed on lockdown. I
was in the midst of working in the most amazing classroom with a brilliant
teacher and beautiful children. I was sitting on the floor reading books and
talking about the characters in the book. Laughing. Problem-solving words. Flipping
back to the beginning to make sure we understood the mystery that was
unfolding. Watching children help one another dig through a story because they
wanted to find out what would happen. They were engaged. They were happy.
And then I read the email as required after we are
placed on a lockdown. It said there was a shooting at Arapahoe High School. I
read it, went back to my group of my students and began to read again. As a
teacher, there is that moment during a lockdown of "not thinking"
when you are placed in these situations - you go on auto pilot. And then
it sinks in. I was trying to register why my school was on lockdown. I knew Arapahoe High School. It is blocks
from my house. It is my son's school district. My son is not at Arapahoe, but
many of his friends are. Many of our neighbors are. So, my son was on lockdown and I knew his
friends at Arapahoe were in harm's way.
When my school district was taken off lockdown I left. I went
to pick up my son at his high school. He was going to take the bus home, but
the buses were all being used to transport the Arapahoe students out of their
high school. I picked him up. We went home. We went out to dinner. We went to a
vigil. We came home. We talked about the
families and friends at Arapahoe. We talked about the fear, those who were
injured. I tried to figure out what this means for my son. I don't know. And
now it is Saturday. I am still on auto pilot.
Another day. I can't close my eyes. I want to return
to my kindergarten class where we cooked. I want to return to my sixth grade
class where we visited the nursing home. I want to return to the day when I
could send my son to school and never think for one second the thoughts that I
now push to the back of my brain, and then breathe deeply, and move on.
On the way home from the choir event on Thursday Sam
plugged in his Ipod and played this song. We blasted it. It was just the two of
us. Myself and my fourteen year old son. I think about all the time and energy
I use to fight the things that harm children. I think about how often I am met
with silence, those who have given up, those who simply walk away. I think
about how quickly things can change. How quickly it can all be taken from us. I
wonder if I am making the most of every moment - as a teacher, an activist and
mostly, as a parent. And then I remember sitting in the driveway blasting this
song and singing with Sam on a Thursday night. Not knowing the unknown. But if
I close my eyes.....
"Pompeii"
Eh-eh-o eh-o [8x]
I was left to my own devices
Many days fell away with nothing to show
And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Grey clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above
But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
We were caught up and lost in all of our vices
In your pose as the dust settled around us
And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Grey clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above
But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
If you close your eyes
Eh-eh-o eh-o [8x]
Oh where do we begin?
The rubble or our sins?
Oh oh where do we begin?
The rubble or our sins?
And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Grey clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above
But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
If you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?
Eh-eh-o eh-o [8x]
I was left to my own devices
Many days fell away with nothing to show
And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Grey clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above
But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
We were caught up and lost in all of our vices
In your pose as the dust settled around us
And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Grey clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above
But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
If you close your eyes
Eh-eh-o eh-o [8x]
Oh where do we begin?
The rubble or our sins?
Oh oh where do we begin?
The rubble or our sins?
And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Grey clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above
But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
If you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?
Eh-eh-o eh-o [8x]